LEAVE THE LIGHT ON…

26 Nov

Tears rush to my eyes and they start to pour out…

I have been living in a safe spot for almost 6 months now…

So many secrets to protect Me and I find myself needing change…

I always think it’s my past I’m missing. But it’s my past that always shows me I want more. To stop being sorry that I dream big and follow my heart. For the longest time now I was under a spell thinking I was settling but quite the opposite.

A blast from the past moment reminded me how much better My Life is now… That although things do not always work out the way we’d like, we have no control over other people. All we can control is how we react to them. How honest we are with others about our genuine reaction, and most importantly how honest with ourselves we are about what we feel. And why we choose what we choose, knowing the choice between wrong and right. Yet us making that choice regardless.

I feel our World lacks the everyday heroes and dreamers. I have been under the illusion I am not a patient person or graceful. However I realize now it’s quite the contrary. I don’t know anyone else who is as patient as I am for true love. The whole deal. I have been hurt beyond comprehension. And yet I still dream and hold onto what I believe. Grace is going through Life and being strong enough to take the hits make something out of it with a smile on your face. And still wait for the one thing my heart believes despite all the doubt that keeps getting presented to me it might not exist anymore.

I find it harder and harder to find guys out there that are actually MEN. And women that can claim to be an actual WOMAN. It’s as if everyone complains about everything and has some excuse for it. Look Life is not easy. Get over it, move on from that. Stop expecting things to just land in your lap. If they do bethankful they do because that is not reality or the norm. The things that matter are not easy to obtain. And now more than ever there are temptations and illusions to trick us. We’ve allowed our Lives to be subjected to so much corruption. That we feel we have the merit to proclaim that if we don’t get what we want when we want it, or after WE feel we’ve put enough work and time into it then Oh well “their loss” … No sir. It’s not. It is something we learn in a matter of time that it is our loss and pay for that type of mentality later.

Life is short that is the message that screams from every song and movie lately. So we must hurry. We must think of ourselves first. Heck I just went to therapy the other day for the first time in a long time. I was stunned at the advice I was being given. We wonder how our World has become so selfish and depressed it’s because even the professionals are telling those who are trying to do the right thing and find guidance and help to think of themselves first. Now don’t get me wrong I might be a different case, however I was given a brain and heart and have every intention to always use it and challenge what I’m being told. I don’t think it’s such a destructive trait to care for others feelings. Yes every now and then I need to make sure I put myself more as a priority. But to always put ME first is only going to leave me with ME.

For those that have followed all my other blogs and read everything I’ve written (thank you btw <3) you know that I don’t curse the bad things that have happened to me. If anything I embrace them, cherish them, use them. I feel in those times is why I was given a chance to become better, stronger, more compassionate towards other people. It is a CHOICE I had in every situation. Some I caught onto right away. Others I had to learn over repeatedly. And some I’m still learning obviously.  I always attribute it to “Am I on a merry go round?” Because even if it’s a one I want to be on, why would I want to keep going round in circles until I get sick? It would ruin the ride. There are other rides. Don’t stay on one so long you get to the point you break it or it becomes a ride that you become to hate and resent. You should always be trying to improve and go to the next level. Too much of anything is very unhealthy if we have not learned that lesson yet with eating habits. Stop listening to all these experts their advice changes all the time. Life is about balance. I’m not saying you can’t ever enjoy staying somewhere, or be proud of whom you are… Just why stop? Learn to embrace each moment but why has it been deemed so wrong to save for tomorrow? Why do we have to do everything NOW?. Again even if you love the merry go round you’re on doesn’t mean you have to leave the park but balance out your time so it stays something you will forever enjoy.

Again don’t get me wrong if you’ve been given an opportunity, a second chance yes by all means make the most of it. Don’t make foolish errors where it could land you in same result as the time before. But don’t get so clouded in today that you forget you might still wake up tomorrow 😉 And that your choices today will effect every moment after that.

I am someone that LOVES adventure, my body screams passion, and my soul is connected, as well as my heart doesn’t stop beating to its own music. I don’t care what’s in style or how others expect me to live my Life. I know what’s important to me and matters. Do you? Are you leading a Life that reflects that? Attributing to what you earnestly desire.  Or are you going with the crowd because that’s what society is telling you how you should live? What you should want? So you live this double Life. And are truly never happy. I’m not perfect and even on my journey to becoming a better person, and the things I’m working hard for I make errors. But I assure you I keep it to a minimum and not repeating lessons I’ve learned. It’s not always easy to make the choices I have to. But I know they are the ones I NEED to make to get where I WANT to be. The difference is I’ve made my peace with that. I know there are things I will miss out on. I will have hard days. And I might even lose some people I don’t want to let go. But I’ve made a cautious decision it will be worth it in the end. Even if I die tomorrow and never got to “get there” I will rest in peace knowing my Life reflecting me trying to get there.

So I wasn’t able to finish this blog yesterday. So my inspiration might not all be the same but as I re-read what I wrote I am passionate about it and in agreement. And the point I’m trying to make and hit on without going into novels of each subject is that yes Life is short but it also can be long. Life is all about balance. Regarding any type of habit. You shouldn’t shut everyone out, but you shouldn’t also let everyone in. Be a good person but learn to be firm about your standards. Yes you can break the rules every now and then for yourself and others, but don’t live a Life that’s reckless. Stop living in fear you’re going to die in the next moment and living in a way that reflects fear.

None of us can control when our time is up. But we can control the legacy of our Life that we will leave behind. And I firmly believe if you are doing what makes you happy and feeling fulfilled or en route to making it happen you won’t be focusing so much about “Life is Short” because you’ll know you’re doing everything with the time you had.

“Why not focus on how your Life can be imprinted forever instead of Living for just today” -xoxMM

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